Embracing Fullness vs. Striving for Balance

Relationship. This thing we do…We love another human being. We interact, we communicate, we maintain.

Or at least we try.

But for those of us who want more than “normal” broken remnants of love and grace God demonstrated through relational pursuit of mankind, there is a universal conflict of balance we take upon ourselves.

In our quest of God and his relational attributes, we notice that there are some seemingly contradicting traits. Grace and truth for example. We know that God is truth and truth is God. He is holy and the first and final authority of all things in heaven and earth. Yet He is also abounding in grace: this unmerited favor bestowed lavishly on undeserving, sinful human beings.

He does not contradict Himself. Although we can’t comprehend His ways, somehow we know that He makes sense. He has to. He is the only constant we can rely on.

So often we interpret God carnally. The problem factor being that we are the ones interpreting Him. What absurdity. A tiny facet of God’s creation trying to understand the ways of the Creator. If we who chose sin and turned our backs on God, try to interpret the Holy One, we will never experience God without a filter of deceit blanketing the truth of who He is.

We try to analyze Him, break Him down to an earthly level, then apply the principle of His character. The only trouble is, by the time the application is applied, the principle is a muddy, carnal, man-made philosophy that produces no real results.

We see through a glass darkly.

We talk about grace and truth, and we discuss how to live a balanced lifestyle. How to live an equally balanced life of grace and truth: Who is capable of achieving this beyond human goal? No one.

How is one supposed to apply these traits of God to life, relationships, and love when the Author of all is far above our understanding?

We all lean one way or the other when we try to balance the scale of God’s character, whether we realize it or not. Though to ourselves we seem pretty much 50% grace and 50% truth, our friends or spouse see clearly that we are 46% grace and 54% truth. But even our friends and spouse may not really have the facts right.

When we think we are perfectly balanced and on track, we’re probably not. God may be the only One who knows, but what if the the truth we have striven to acquire has been built on a foundation of earthly wisdom and our false, human interpretation of God? 22% grace, 19% truth, and 59% percent religion. (give or take)

I’m not putting labels on any one, even myself. I know I have some junk hanging on to me yet. We all do. I don’t know what my percentage would be. Just come with me, and let’s check our motives. Do we pursue God and build our lives around Him so we look like we have it all together and have a good balance of God’s character? Or is it ok to look broken and have an unbalanced percentage?

Let’s stop analyzing God. We can’t dumb down His majesty and truth to our level of understanding and expect to take on the character of God through that process. Instead of reducing God to our level, why not ask Him to take us up to Him? Makes sense why we are to worship in Spirit and in truth.

If we insist on staying on earth and clinging to our doubts and reservations, we miss out on all that God wants to bring us into.

If we reside in the heaven-lies, suddenly our eyes and ears are opened. The veil is taken away, truth begins to penetrate, and worship continues to flow. We suddenly realize our balance of God’s attributes that we are aware of are only 3% of God and His character, heart, and emotions.

How have we missed God’s heart? It’s not about balance. It’s about fullness!

Why do we think that God is 50% grace and 50% truth? That’s ridiculous. God is never half anything. He is always complete in everything that He is. We can’t be truth on Monday and grace on Tuesday. We can’t achieve balance.  We should ask for fullness of all that He is. Perfect love. Fullness of grace. Fullness of truth.

I want to extend full grace in my relationships  I want to extend full truth. I want perfect love to flow from me.

Consider the power of these forces. Grace rescues us from a fate of destruction. Truth will set you free to light, and it dispels darkness. Love covers all wrongs. Incredible! Let’s not extend these gifts sparingly. Lavish in them and lavish them on others!

Jesus, I don’t want to strive for balance. I want to be full of all that You are…drinking in deep portions of heaven’s reality.

I want to be a slave to Your love, not a slave to my own imperfection. I want to be a lover of Your goodness, instead of a worker out of obligation to Your perfection.

I don’t want to study Your actions with my head. I want to swim in Your heart and get to know Your motives. I want to love Your heart until we are one and I become your hands and feet, instead of Your critic. I don’t want my intellect; I want Your wisdom. I want Your Spirit, not my interpretation.

I want You to inhabit my world so that I exist with You and for You instead of continually bringing You to my level of understanding. Forgive me. I want change. Your ways are higher, and I love Your Presence. You are welcome in my heart and life. Even if I fail you daily, You are always faithful. I love you.

The love of God has effected me deeply differently than ever before since a few weeks ago: the day I became Mrs. Kanagy. (I’m still not used to that.)

We picture God as Friend. Then as Father. Now as Lover. The most intimate form of relationship.

If I think of the ways my husband loves his bride. He is gentle with my heart. That stands out to me the most.

I know I have issues that make me difficult to understand, but no matter how strange a symptom of pain that resurrects, never does my husband make me feel stupid or unlovable.

The same way, God stops everything He was doing and comes to me. He dries my tears. He understands. He loves me as if I was the perfect bride. Because I am! He has made me clean, and He is no longer separated from me. We are one. He lavishes romance on me. He chases me, and I chase Him. It’s a love experience with the King of Kings.

I think when we begin to receive the romance of the King of Kings, we are suddenly able to love others with the same love, grace, and truth that we have received.

I want His fullness in our romance and in my earthly relationships. Jesus, pour it out.

“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.”


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