[A trip to Victoria’s Secret and the secret to beauty that never dies.]

I don’t consider myself a very girly girl. But the other day I was slightly grieved at the fact of my lack of um. feminine….stuff.


…As in lingerie. I know, every young married gal has a big stash, but I don’t. OK, don’t tell anyone you saw that online, but I’m just saying. 😀

My hubby is not hard to please, and I sure am thankful because he seems quite happy with me in whatever I wear or don’t wear. I’d hate to have to wear a certain lovely little piece for him to be happy. In fact he thinks I am sexier than ever in soft yoga pants or sweat pants. Now that is nice! 🙂

Anyways, like I was saying, I don’t want to have to wear something to be noticed or appreciated or cherished or loved. I want to be me. It’s been a pretty big thing to me, not just since being in a relationship, but for a while.

Sooo, I just never really invested in any little negligees  As in actual stuff you’d buy from Victoria’s secret. Ok, so I have some cute clothes I would only wear in front of my man, but I never shopped specifically for lingerie before I got married. I never thought it was a big deal. Plus, I thought it was cheesy to have girls swooning over cute pieces and talking about all the fun times you’ll have. Inside I’m thinking, seriously, I’m not really worried about that. I know I have his heart. I’m not really interested in a stupid piece of fabric. Yeah, I’m pretty opinionated in some areas. If I don’t get something, I won’t do it. When I see a need and a reason, then we’ll talk. 😀

But the other day I felt kind of sad that I had nothing like that. Or at least a satiny robe or something. So I told hubby about it, and he was very understanding. “Why don’t we fix that? You know I love you no matter what you wear or don’t wear, but I know if it means something to you, it’d be kind of fun to shop for that.”

So last week when hubby was off of work and we were on a fun getaway already, we ventured into Victoria’s Secret. I have never bought anything there. I always imagined ditsy blonde college girls with huge chests being the most common customers. I am a wild brunette, but not in that sense. My hubby still has a hard time getting me to flirt back with him. :p So you can say I was a little out of my comfort zone in a frilly shop.

We were immediately approached by a sales lady who wanted to update us on all the latest sales. (buy one bra, get one for 25 dollars. I don’t even want to know what the first one cost.) I despise people trying to sell me something. Leave. me. alone. I will not buy, just because you are so hard up to sell. Good day! (I’ll let my salespeople stories for another time. 😉 You were just spared)

I told her we were “just looking, thanks.” I smiled. 🙂 haha

The cheapest panty I saw was $11, and I didn’t see any satin, non frilly, non cheesy, non airhead, type lingerie that I liked or that was in my price range.

We walked all through the store, feeling fabrics, and checking prices, but I got bored. “Are you sure you don’t want anything? I’ll buy whatever you choose.” Sweet hubby.


(My handsome hunk)

Uh, nah. I wanted to go book shopping. So we went to Barnes and Noble instead. AAAAHH. Happiness. I did end up getting a health book: a human anatomy atlas. It is super interesting. And it had nothing to do with the previous subject. :p

This was my summary of that experience to which my hubby was greatly amused:

“Who needs Victoria’s Secret? Naked is my lingerie  I’d rather spend $$$ on books. So that’s what I did. Naked with brains is better than slutty airhead in a thong.”

My husband likes me brunette and smart. So he buys me books and lets me write. 😀 And we like it that way. Maybe someday I’ll buy something at Victoria’s Secret..if it’s on sale.

All that to say: Ladies, be yourselves. Don’t perform or try to look like the perfect body you don’t have. I know it doesn’t seem true in this carnal, sex oriented culture, but a good guy would rather have a beautifully flawed body in which is a beautiful soul, than a hot model who’s heart is selfish, insecure, and obsessed.

If all the guys you are around treat you like an object, you are looking in the wrong place for your prince.. A godly guy isn’t in the main stream society putting himself out there at parties and this self obsessed culture.

So if you really want to be treated like the princess you are, find a man that loves God more than you.

Guys like confidence. Not arrogance  Not pride.

Being yourself is beautiful. The self God made, not who you create.

It’s not beautiful to alter yourself to fit in. It is beautiful though when a woman becomes who she is in Christ and is confident in it. That takes humility. Religion mistakes it for pride and control, but the price of the cross is too great to waste a female life by conforming to this world…the world of self obsession found in money, relationships, sex, perfect bodies, clothes… OR the world of self obsession found in false righteousness and godliness in putting to death beauty and loveliness. Jesus paid too much to live either lie.

Religion is worship of self. It doesn’t matter what form of the world you grow up in, it’s not rooted in the love and sacrifice of Jesus, which is the only place we find “ourselves.”

Religion needs no God because it has all the “answers.”

The only answer is Jesus.

There is nothing more lovely and stunningly gorgeous than a women with peace in her heart and joy on her face…the confidence of her identity. She can have many personalities. Quiet, boisterous, funny, smart, etc. The reality and evidence is the same. Jesus. She knows she is nothing without Him, but with Him she has everything. She is truly attractive.

When a woman (or man) realizes that she can neither find beauty in the world or godliness in shying away from beauty, then she can come face to face with Jesus Himself: the beautiful One.

He’s the one who makes sense. He’s the one who takes us through the Kingdom backwards, but in perfect order. 🙂 We are dead to become alive.

Take care of your soul. Let God have your heart. That is one of the biggest secrets to great loving that I have found.

Seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God. (That’s in the Bible, y’all!) Freakin’ enjoy life and get to know God

Fall in love with Him, and don’t perform for God or people on any side of the spectrum.

Be authentic before God alone, and you will learn to live authentically with people watching. Don’t hide in a cave until you learn it though. 😉 Enjoy the journey.

Stop listening to the media and lies out there. It’s not about finding yourself. It’s about becoming who God already made you to be.

Eat healthy, drink water, exercise, have a good life. But be more obsessed with God than with perfection. He is the only perfect thing you will ever ever find.

You husband is never enough. You are never enough. Your kids are never enough. God is though. When we find Him, he makes everything beautiful. Because He is Love.

P.S. I’m not against buying lingerie. 😉


© Brenda Kanagy

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