Hello, blog. I missed you.
Just like that, it’s nearly the end of July. How does time fly the way it does?
Nine months of marriage already happened. And guess what? God is still the same. On the days that are bleh, He still has something to give me even when I can hardly find my worship to give Him. What a kind Dad He is 24/7.
You know how you write something, and later you go back to read it and think, “Wow, did I write that? I’m not even that smart!” 🙂
Almost three years ago I wrote something, and today I re-read it and cried over my own writing. I felt God talking directly to me through it. Ironic, huh?
Here it is:
God would say to you, “It’s only when you believe that you receive. It is only when you receive, that you feel the results of believing.
My love is reality. It is being poured out on you even now. Just because you can’t feel it does not mean it is nonexistent. You simply don’t ‘know’ it. It’s as if you are holding an umbrella over your head, keeping My rain from touching you. The rain is pouring down on you, but it just runs off the umbrella into a puddle at your feet.
At times, you realize how you are treating the blessings I am lavishing out on you, yet instead of stepping out from under the umbrella, you turn it upside down over your head. You’re still not getting wet, but you’re trying to catch as much rain as you can, hoarding my goodness to yourself, for your stash. Your umbrella may become so full that the edges can no longer hold it up. It collapses, and water pours out onto the ground beneath you. You received nothing. This does not please me. It makes me sad.
How am I to guide you, if you confine me to the contents of your upside down umbrella, to be dispensed like a soap bottle when you think you need a washing? My love can never change you this way.
I am the King of the universe.
Your mind cannot fathom the depths of my understanding. Your efforts at understanding my words are not even as wise as my lowest thoughts. You only see through a glass darkly. My ways are not your ways.
I understand you, but you do not understand me. I know what you need and when you need it, yet you insist upon monitoring my actions and rationing my outpourings as if I don’t know how to take care of you.
There are many who hold umbrellas over their own heads, but many more who hold umbrellas over EACHOTHER with their free hand. Parents hold umbrellas over their children, pastors over their church members, brothers over brothers…
I am like the wind. I cannot fit into the schedule or man made system you’ve built for yourself. No genius plan can equally distribute my glory. I am to be discovered, not dissected. As long as you control me, box and label my abilities, determine my limits, and apply your opinions and ideas to my character, you will not see my glory. I will never force myself on you. This is not to say I cannot, it is to say that I will not inhabit a space that does not welcome me. I cannot move in my time, by my ways if you don’t let me in.
But I will never give up on you.
Control implies no need. You may not know, but I know: you do indeed need me.
I do not need you. I WANT you.
After the downpour, you may inspect the glossy water you captured in your upside down umbrella. You may grin at your reflection, or even stick your finger in the water and splash a bit on your arm. A bit here, a bit there, where you think need it.
Don’t you understand? I haven’t poured Myself out only for you to study and inspect the contents. I haven’t poured Myself out only so that you can dip your finger in the water. I have poured myself out, so you would be drenched in Me. So that I could live in you. So that you could live in Me. So that you would be fulfilled and bathing in joy and peace. So that you would come alive with Me.
My child, I promised to take care of you and do good to you. I know you better than you know yourself. Let me provide. I give good gifts to my children. If you ask Me for a stone, I will not give you a rock, for I am your Father. I have your best in mind.
You don’t have to be afraid of Me. I will not harm you. You are my treasured possession. I created you for my pleasure, and I delight in you every moment. You are a part of me. I made you in My image. It would go against my very nature to harm the fruit of Myself.
Humans are born with scales over their eyes. You are children who do not know the Father’s love because you are separated from Me.
You were born with at least one umbrella over your head: sin and human nature. (Separation) Depending on the culture, family, and lifestyle you were born into, the umbrella may have been less devastating, but it was nevertheless, there.
Confining your brother to a box I did not create is putting an umbrella between him and I. Putting laws on your church that I did not ordain is putting a plug in the rush of My glory and the wind of My Spirit. Attempting to perfect a baby Christian’s passion is putting an umbrella over the joy I have placed in his heart. Imposing judgment and corrective measures on a brother or sister who fails yet keeps a soft heart is putting an umbrella over the tender love and forgiveness I was already soothing his bleeding heart with. Raping a pure and earnest heart of faith and complete abandonment to Me by your concern and fleshly caution puts an umbrella over the journey I was faithfully leading him into.
If you feel you are free from sin, throw the first stone. Maybe My love in the ones you are “fixing” will extend the same grace and forgiveness they received by My hand, even as you slice a wound in their heart. When you take a situation into your hands, instead of placing it in Mine, you create a breeding ground for sin, faithlessness, religion, and hatred in place of Love, which comes from Me alone.
My children, you grieve each other, and you grieve Me when you attempt to be good Christians on your own. You are Mine, and you come from Me, your Father. Become as little children.
It is not the ones who appear to have everything together that gain the Kingdom. It is not those who always have the wise words and reproof for the weaker brethren. It is not the ones who make quick moves on impulse of their flesh to do the right thing. It is not those who sit in My house on Sunday with clean hands, but are not willing to get dirty living out Kingdom work.
It is the ones who admit they are weak that gain the Kingdom. It is he who falls, who is ridiculed and accused, discussed and dissected, yet despite a bad name, rises up in by faith in My acceptance; He shall gain the Kingdom.
It is he, who has been knocked down, called names and rejected, yet finds home in My heart. He shall gain the Kingdom. It is he who is weak, but possesses My strength.
It is he who is willing to lose his reputation to increase Mine. This man shall gain the Kingdom.
Do not discuss each other’s sins as if man can produce a solution. I would that My children would earnestly seek My face in love for another, pointing all focus to Me and my righteousness, so that it may be imparted to you all by faith.
Do not rob each other of innocence. I hold every heart in My hand. I will woo the hurting, save the lost, and rescue the sinner. You are not called to fix a sinner’s actions. You are called to introduce him to Me. You are not called to change people. You are called to show people my love. My love changes the heart. (Out of the heart are the issues of life.)
I am not your tool used to make your church succeed. You are my tool in which My church is built.
The purpose of the umbrella, no matter what form, is to keep you from seeing your need of me, therefore keeping you from experiencing all I have for you.
There are many umbrellas. Religion is an umbrella. Pride is another. Your experiences may have produced many more umbrellas that you were not born with, but they are all the same in that they keep you from My love.
Abuse, rejection, accusation, neglect, etc. These all produce pain. I want to heal. I want to restore your heart gently.
My desire is to be rid of ALL umbrellas keeping you from tasting My glory and coming alive to Me. I want nothing blocking Me from touching you. I want the only thing between us to be love and intimacy.
As you begin to live a lifestyle of experiencing that downpour, you will soon learn to dislike umbrellas. When you see them, you will recognize them, you will resist them, and you will go back to being rained on. I am good, and you were born to bask in My goodness.
You are mine, and it is my desire that you would begin [now] to experience me in fullness.
I adore you. I want to immerse you in My goodness, not only drop a bit on your head. Cast off the umbrella. Tear down the walls. You don’t need to protect yourself. Hide in Me. I am your strong tower. I will be your protection. Let me rain on you. Let My love touch you and rain on your body. Be soaked and immersed in My Spirit. You will be changed.
You will no longer observe Me moving from a distance. I will be moving in you. You will feel My touch that you’ve longed for your whole life.
I am not a distant Power. I am near you. I have always been near you. I have followed you, hoping you would let Me in.
Will you let Me touch you? Lift your head. Lift your hands. I am raining on you. It is happening. Will you cast off your umbrella?”
-Your Daddy, Almighty God
Stay real, people. Church isn’t a museum. It’s a place where messed up people find freedom.
Church is mostly outside the building. The building is a place for corporate growth. Jesus is alive on Monday too. (Reality check)