One decade ago, tragedy walked into my family as the man in our lives stepped from this life into the next. I had 10 years with him. It’s hard to believe today marks 10 years that I’ve been without him.
No amount of comforting words can dull the shock, much less fill the absence. Death is painful no matter how you toss it.
I don’t remember questioning the goodness of God. The pain was deep, but it wasn’t His fault. If God intercepted every probable cause of pain, pretty soon free will would be eliminated from the picture.
So the sin choice gave a personal blow on Feb. 16. A young kid made a reckless choice- a 120 mph choice that killed two people. Should I insist that God’s best interest for me would take away that man’s choice so my family wouldn’t suffer the consequences? I hope I never become that short-sighted.
As the glory of God increases on the earth, I sure expect to see less pain and more Heaven, but right now, I am thankful for free will. There can be no love choice without it. There can be no forgiveness. There can be no redemption.
The age old, “If God is good, bad things wouldn’t happen,” argument holds no weight for me anymore. The enemy would love to find safety behind false securities in my mind, but I won’t allow the pain to create lying thought patterns about God’s nature to comfort conflicting emotions.
Just because God doesn’t automatically intercept evil and suffering doesn’t mean He is behind it. God is the Creator. Satan is a created being– only capable of destroying what is already created. God’s most prized creation, the human race, still has the same choice we were offered in the beginning.
So will I agree with the sickness and depravity around me? Heck no! I’m not on that bandwagon. Yes, sometimes Satan has his moment, but I don’t have to let him keep it! God is always the one who restores us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. So even if my dad’s death caused me pain, death is not the end of the story. The enemy’s only victory is the one we allow. I intend to agree with God’s purposes.
We pull down reasonings and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and we take our minds prisoner to the obedience of The Messiah. (Our Deliverer) -2 Corinthians 10:5
Humans need to process pain and grieve. Humans need to let the blood of Christ absorb the sting. It’s the only way we can find healing and redemption.
Someday, hindsight is a beautiful thing.
Since that February in 2005, I have experienced the love and the goodness of God in ways I couldn’t have imagined before. My reliance on my Heavenly Father for identity, purpose, and love is much deeper in my dad’s absence.
Would I have chosen this? No, but it happened, and God will redeem whatever we give Him. As long as I live, I intend to make choices towards life and love. Maybe in Heaven, I will see the replay- how my choices snowballed the Kingdom’s reign on the earth.
Anniversaries of physical death are painful, but this morning I woke up and realized that Feb. 16 is also a celebration. 10 years ago today, Dad had his very first Heaven birthday! Death has no sting when you get to fly with the angels. 🙂
Happy Heaven Birthday, Dad!