How To (not) Be A Victim

After experiencing loss at the hands of a paypal scammer over the weekend, I felt rage like I didn’t know I was capable of. To our knowledge, the product we thought we were selling is gone, and said scammer is getting a ($500 value) item for free. By the time we realized the payments were fraudulent and not secured through PayPal, it was too late. We tried to stop the package, but customs and the postal service didn’t prove very helpful. 

I wanted to tell the scammer to rot in a dark hole, how it’s not ok to steal from people trying to make an honest living, and other dark thoughts. I even prayed that God would blow the package up before it got to the man, maybe even in his face as he opens the box. Forgive me, Lord. You judge rightly. 🙂

It was a disappointment, no doubt. A big one. Not only did we lose an asset, we lost actual cash (a lot) shipping it. Gone were the funds we were going to use to purchase a wish list item my husband had his eye on for months. We beat ourselves up. Why did we ignore the signs? Why did we not investigate sooner? 

Humanity bucks and cries. 

God, why did you let this happen? Why do things always have to go wrong just when you seem to be giving a gift? I feel hurt.

I stopped myself. That unfortunate scenario got me thinking.

When people wrong you, they are the victim, not you. The wrong doer is under the control of an evil influence. Even if it feels like he is wielding power over you, he is the true victim. 

You are only a victim if you let circumstances rob you of joy and peace and things of greater value than material possessions. These eternal treasures no one can steal. 

The only powerlessness is the belief that we are. We have been given access to the mind and Spirit of Christ. What can we lack that truly matters?

Contrary to popular belief, power does not equal control- unless we are talking about self control, which is a fruit of the Spirit. 

A truly powerful person is not known by his control and manipulation of others. (This is actually the epitome of powerlessness.) 

True power is the power of self control and the choice to manage one’s thoughts, attitudes, and choices well.

So much of our success is life is determined by our minds. In fact, if actions follow thoughts, it’s probably not a stretch to say that almost all of our success is determined by the the mind. 

If I succumb to victim mentality when I feel upset or hurt, I compromise my identity for a lie. Satan can only operate in deceit, and my agreement with a lier hands him the keys of my outcome. I say, “Influence my circumstances with a counterfeit reality.” This truly is powerlessness. 

It so often feels like Satan’s attacks and whispers are true, but his words are never pure. They do not profit us. 

So no, I am not a victim. I am not a pawn in Satan’s chess game. I am powerful in my choices, and I choose truth. This pain is temporary. God has much more gold than we lost. Maybe He even has something better up his sleeve.

We may never know what all God protects us from as we sit around accusing Him of a poor job in fatherhood.

The thing is, we often don’t see the full picture. We may only see our present frustration, but there is a good Father who is setting us up to receive good (full picture) things if we can dare to believe the truth.

This is the truth:

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

God, you are good!

What are some ways you can choose the power of self control over the victim mentality? 

© Brenda Kanagy


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